Spice Guys: Seasoned restaurateurs invent their own guapo

Los Patrons de Mas Guapo Foods.
PHOTO FROM MAS GUAPO WEBSITE

A new company called Mas Guapo Foods (no connection to Mas restaurant in Belmont) is spicing up the local marketing scene by selling a blend of organic and kosher herbs and spices called Sazon Mas Guapo, which they claim will make a chef appear more handsome, due to its “Zestiliciousness.” The Guapo’s inventors call it a “mixture of Pan-Caribbean spices that was not quite a Dry Rub, but also not quite a Seasoned Salt.”

“It is also the only condiment on the market today that comes with a complimentary fake mustache,” wrote ââ?¬Ë?Los Patrons’ de Mas Guapo in an email to Dish. “Because nothing is more guapo than a righteous ââ?¬Ë?stache!”

Indeed, customers are encouraged to snap photos of themselves wearing these mustaches, “machine crafted from only the very finest Asian petrochemicals,” and send them in to be posted on the company’s online ââ?¬Ë?stache gallery.

“A lot has changed since those early days; for example, Sazon Mas Guapo is no longer produced by rubbing the select botanicals between the bronzed thighs of sultry Island girls,” say ââ?¬Ë?Los Patrons, “but rather prepared faithfully from the original formulation at a modern, certified Organic and Kosher production facility.”

And who are Los Patrons de Mas Guapo Foods?

Sazon Mas Guapo is for sale at Beer Run and online.
PHOTO FROM MAS GUAPO WEBSITE

They would be the alter egos of restaurateur Bill Hamilton (right) and Gearhart’s Chocolate’s Tim Gearhart (left). The duo plan to sell their new Guapo only at Beer Run for now, with BR owners Josh Hunt and John Woodriff using it in menu items, offering free tastings, and, of course, selling it in their retail section. You can also buy it online at the Mas Guapo website: $10 for an 8-ounce container.

“It's a fun project, and the spice is the real deal,” says Hamilton.