To grandmother's house? You might want to stay home

Of the classics of world literature crying out to be adapted as a sexual fantasy for teenage girls, surely Red Riding Hood is far down on the list. Here's a movie that cross-pollinates the Twilight formula with a werewolf, and adds a girl who always wears a hooded red cape, although I don't recall her doing any riding. It's easy to imagine a story conference in which they said: "Hey! Let's switch the vampires with a werewolf and recycle the theme of a virgin attracted to a handsome but dangerous hunk, only let's get two hunks!"

What this inspiration fails to consider is that while a young woman might toy with the notion of a vampire boyfriend, she might not want to mate with a wolf. And although she might think it was, like, cool to live in the woods in Oregon, she might not want to live in the Black Forest hundreds of years ago because, like, can you text from there? Full review.