DR. HooK


Get a move on! Keeping active keeps us oldsters alive Published on Dec 22nd, 2011 0 comments Silver in your hair, gold in your teeth, and lead in your buttocks— that’s the “Metallic Age.” As a middle-aged man, I have gold in my teeth. Before I highlighted my hair blond, I didn’t have one...
Not so funny: Bell's Palsy devastates facial nerves Published on Dec 15th, 2011 0 comments Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face was stunning in front of the camera of her fashion photographer, Fred Astaire. She was most magnificent when she walked down the stairs in the Louvre holding a billowing...
Muscle misery: Do statins threaten exercisers? Published on Dec 8th, 2011 1 comments Muscles on Taylor Lautner, Matthew McConaughey, and Hugh Jackman are hot. I used to lift– until I hurt my rotator cuff when I was 29. I still lift weights, but these days I do more aerobics and...
Oh, flu-ey! Get shot, wash hands, stay well Published on Dec 1st, 2011 0 comments It’s that time of year again: cold and flu season. Are you ready to avoid that “red-nosed” look this winter?My office is flooded with phone calls and urgent visits for sick, sick, sick patients...
Brusha brusha: Healthy teeth mean healthy heart Published on Nov 24th, 2011 0 comments Austin Powers has the worst teeth. Mike Myers plays this shaggy English spy who is somehow a lady’s man. I don’t know why anyone would kiss someone with such bad teeth. I’d fear getting a yeast...
Singin' the blues: Vocal cord troubles silence careers Published on Nov 17th, 2011 2 comments Adele is British? She doesn't sing with an English accent. She sounds like she’s from Louisiana with a mint julep in one hand and a burning cigarette in the other. When I first heard about Adele from...
The clot thickens: New anticoagulant challenges warfarin Published on Nov 10th, 2011 0 comments Blood is thicker than water, they say. Oh, really? What about those rich families who disown their children and leave them nothing? Zilch, Nada. Disowning children is a popular pastime among many...
SIDS: Back sleeping, breast feeding save lives Published on Nov 3rd, 2011 0 comments Babies are popping out of my friends like popcorn! Even my friends who swore they would never have children now own minivans filled with car seats complete with puke, toys, and diapers.When I was a...
The runs: Aerobic exercise can cause GI woes Published on Oct 27th, 2011 0 comments Pathetic– a good term to describe my my aerobic endurance. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve vomited or almost vomited from intense workouts. Once while playing tennis I lobbed the ball...
Ewwww: Body odor can have serious causes Published on Oct 20th, 2011 6 comments Gyms smell like sweat, as they should! But most of us draw the line when people smell like old socks. Some folks don’t change their gym clothes for days— or weeks.I used to belong to a pretty nice...
Watch it! Fad diets can do more harm than good Published on Oct 13th, 2011 0 comments Weight Watchers founder Jean Nidetch is 87 years old and still at her target weight of 142 pounds. Eighty-seven and still thin! I joke with everyone that when I turn 70, I’m going to eat the entire...
Warts and all: This nasty problem a real downer Published on Oct 6th, 2011 0 comments Surprises lurk around each corner. Some surprises are wonderful: flowers on your desk, an unexpected inheritance, Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul back together on The X Factor. Other surprises are not...
Hysteria: Wash food to avoid scary listeria Published on Sep 29th, 2011 0 comments Cantaloupe for birthdays is so much better than a birthday cake. Trust me! It’s mouth-watering, crisp, sweet, vitamin-filled, and doesn’t add an extra inch to your waistline. I think a goal after the...
Busy bee: A doctor's work is ... always interrupted Published on Sep 22nd, 2011 0 comments “Popularity breeds contempt.” Boy George says that before he sings “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”I was never popular growing up in my hometown in Ohio, so I never got interrupted going to the...
Not leopard skins: Pillboxes can prevent medicine flubs Published on Sep 15th, 2011 0 comments Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix– so many people have overdosed on drugs. In The Rose, Bette Midler’s character swallows pills like a hypoglycemic child in an M&M...
Big gulp: Swim smart to avoid drowning Published on Sep 1st, 2011 0 comments Ariel, the Little Mermaid, would probably win every Olympic gold medal in swimming. She’d blow Michael Phelps out of the water. Oh, wait, that tail might disqualify her from competition.My cousin...
Picky, picky: Itching not part of scratching disorder Published on Sep 1st, 2011 0 comments Scratching posts are made for cats, but I think many humans would benefit from having one as well. Some people want to scratch out other people’s eyes (e.g. Nancy Grace–>Casey Anthony, gay...
Don't be rash: Heed 'leaves of three...' advice Published on Aug 25th, 2011 0 comments TV news was my thing. When I first appeared regularly on D.C. news, I thought I was “da bomb.” It was just a matter of time before someone else dropped a bomb on me. A couple of years later in...
In sickness and... Illness can strain marriage vows Published on Aug 18th, 2011 0 comments Laura Linney is an amazing actress. I adore her in The Big C. In the first season, a malignant melanoma has riddled her body– but she doesn’t tell anyone! She figures she might as well...
9 to 5: Some docs prefer being employees Published on Aug 11th, 2011 0 comments Board games like Sorry, Monopoly, and Life were my favorites growing up. I loved Life because the little spinny thing looked like the Wheel of Fortune, the cute little cars that we could...
Not even close: Fast-food joints trump grocery stores Published on Jul 28th, 2011 0 comments McDonald’s was my happy place as a child: I loved it all, from Happy Meals to apple turnovers that scalded the roof of my mouth. When we first moved to Kenton, OH, there was no McDonald’s, and I was...
Graves matter: Hyperthyroidism causes tremors, eye woes Published on Jul 21st, 2011 0 comments Hip-hop star Missy Elliott and Mrs. Barbara Bush have something in common. No, it isn’t their jewelry: Missy doesn’t wear those big fake pearls for which Barbara has been so famous. And no,...
Backfire: Chantix bad might outweigh good Published on Jul 14th, 2011 0 comments Backfire! Have you ever done something for the “good of humanity,” only to have it backfire? A would-be mother-in-law thinks she's helping with the wedding, but ends up making the future bride...
Burning issue: Sunscreens must meet new standards Published on Jul 7th, 2011 0 comments Screens are not fool-proof protective shields. A window screen doesn’t protect from no-see-ums that make you look like you have measles. A human resource expert can try to screen out loser...
Better bigger? Weight gain has dire implications Published on Jun 30th, 2011 0 comments Class reunions are awesome. It's a time to remember what we were like during a more innocent time. (I’m from the age of no cell phones, no Internet, and no high fructose corn syrup.) It's amazing to...
Meningioma: These tumors benign but still bad Published on Jun 23rd, 2011 0 comments Mary Tyler Moore was America’s sweetheart on her show. What will happen to our heroine as she faces a brain tumor?MTM announced she has a meningioma, the most common type of primary brain tumor. The...
Face off: Missouri tornado spawned scary fungus Published on Jun 16th, 2011 0 comments Faces define people the most (well, unless you’re Representative Anthony Weiner). Makeup can completely transform a person. Tabloids always flash pictures of celebrities without make-up to shock the...
Breathless: Smoking + asbestos = disaster Published on Jun 9th, 2011 0 comments Smoke makes most of us want to gag. Thank God people can’t smoke in airplanes anymore. In the pre-historic era, there were smoking and nonsmoking sections in planes. Gee, in a closed cabin...
The skinny: Two rare diseases wreak havoc Published on Jun 2nd, 2011 0 comments Rash people do rash things, including giving other people a psychological rash. We all do rash things— well, unless you're Arnold Schwarzenegger who knows how to keep his mouth shut about a love...
Toe the line: Live right to avoid pain of gout Published on May 26th, 2011 0 comments Fred Flintstone had the biggest feet, and he used them to propel his car. I’ll bet a pedicure would have cost him a grand! Fred loved his brontosaurus ribs, and perhaps a few beers at the...