DR. HooK


Weed whackers: Pull pesky plants; don't spray poisons Published on May 19th, 2011 0 comments "One thousand weeds in the lawn, one thousand nasty weeds. Take one out, pass it about, 999 weeds in the lawn.”Yes, I sing my own variation of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” while I do yard work....
Let go! Bid doc adieu and start again Published on May 12th, 2011 0 comments Cooking isn’t a passion of mine, but I do enjoy feeding people. I wish I were Bobby Flay so my guests would salivate a week ahead of time in anticipation of my dinner party. Instead, I get a few...
Testicular cancer: To screen or not to screen? Published on May 5th, 2011 1 comments Friends is a show I just never appreciated. You remember: that's the show where three men and three women live in NYC without having any significant gay friends. That's like living in the...
Brain drain: Lethal amoebae take devastating toll Published on Apr 28th, 2011 0 comments Reincarnation doesn’t sound appealing to me. For example, it seems all the Hollywood stars were kings or some other fantastic legends in past lives. Why couldn’t they have just been ho-hum people?...
Going, not gone: High-risk folks should be screened for Hep C Published on Apr 21st, 2011 0 comments Pamela Anderson is one of the biggest blond bombshells in the history of Hollywood. I've never watched an episode of Baywatch, but I still know her in the red swimsuit carrying that funny little...
Medicine mess: Figuring the calculus of insurance plans Published on Apr 14th, 2011 0 comments Math has always been a favorite subject of mine. Go figure, I’m Asian! However, in my teeny-tiny hometown in Ohio, we were lucky if we had an abacus or a protractor. Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but...
Change of life: New habits can lead to living longer Published on Mar 31st, 2011 0 comments Change is inevitable. We’re born, we mature, we grow old, we die. Well, some of us mature differently– like Hugh Hefner, who walks around in his pajamas at the age of 160. (Don’t most of us...
Over the edge: Psychotic disorders take many forms Published on Mar 24th, 2011 0 comments Reality checks are important for all of us— some more than others. Joan Rivers gives Hollywood fashionistas a run for their money, such as her criticisms of Cate Blanchett’s Givenchy dress at ...
Radiation sickness: Horrible symptoms, horrible death Published on Mar 24th, 2011 0 comments Meryl Streep starred in Silkwood in 1983, a movie about Karen Silkwood, who was purposely contaminated with radiation in a plutonium processing plant. This was not a Homer Simpson moment, eating a...
Gastric catastrophe: Eat right to avoid stomach cancer Published on Mar 17th, 2011 0 comments Can you stomach it? I’ve learned, with my middle-aged wisdom, to learn to be more tolerant of things that don’t quite settle well in my stomach, such as news stations named after animals, bumper...
Bringing up blood: Esophageal tears need fast repair Published on Mar 10th, 2011 0 comments Starvin’ like Marvin! Yes, don’t we all feel that from time to time? You know you shouldn’t eat it, but it taunts you. It whispers to you, “C’mon. Eat me. You’re hungry, and I’m delicious. Just eat...
Think positive: Placebo effect can have real results Published on Mar 3rd, 2011 0 comments “There’s a sucker born every minute!” Rip-off artists chant this phrase like a mantra. I don’t think victims of crime and scandals are suckers: many people think others are innocent and good. Look at...
Clueless: Sometimes patients don’t want to know Published on Feb 24th, 2011 0 comments Blonds are ditzy? Why would someone’s hair color make her dumb? If you think about it, how many real blonds exist? Most blonds I know get a little help from their friend Ms. Clairol. I almost never...
How dry I am: Sicca complex has many causes Published on Feb 17th, 2011 0 comments Ricky Gervais at the 2011 Golden Globe Awards was anything but dry– well, except for a few dry martinis, I’m sure. Wow, now I like humor, but I thought at times he went a liiiiitle too far to...
Too much too soon: ‘Precocious puberty’ can have grim cause Published on Feb 10th, 2011 0 comments Precocious is an adjective people have used to describe me ever since I can remember. I didn’t wear cool adult clothes like Manny on "Modern Family." I didn’t star in a major movie before I was 10...
DR. HOOK- Tables turned: When the doctor is the patient Published on May 8th, 2008 0 comments Do doctors make the worst patients? I'm sitting in my hotel room in Utah with ice on my elevated right knee. Torn ACL, chipped bone on my tibia, and possible torn lateral collateral ligament...
Restless legs: Tingle and twitch the night away Published on Mar 16th, 2006 0 comments Dr. Christopher Winter came for lunch and told us about all sorts of sleeping problems. He said his office lobby is filled with patients who are snoring, bobbing their heads up and down...
Salt water helps: Colds can lead to sinusitis Published on Mar 9th, 2006 0 comments Felix Unger from The Odd Couple has a bad rap. C'mon, if you had to live with an ultra slob like Oscar Madison– who probably smells like spoiled Oscar Mayer– versus nice, clean, and...
Yawner: Tired people have issues Published on Mar 2nd, 2006 0 comments I would never survive in jail. When I was a UVA fellow, I interviewed at the local jail for a moonlighting position. I suddenly related to my mother's experience as medical resident in NYC...
Silent killer: Get screened... and live a little Published on Feb 16th, 2006 0 comments Things pop all the time. "Pop goes the weasel!" "I'm so mad my head is going to pop off!" "Pop open the trunk." We pop off the heads of dandelions. At the movies we eat pop corn. In the...
Me, me, me: Only themselves to blame Published on Feb 2nd, 2006 0 comments How do you read this advertisement? "It's All About ME" One of my best friends says this all the time, and so when he showed me this ad, I thought it was all about– him. However, it's a...
Pappy days: The test all women need Published on Jan 26th, 2006 0 comments When I worked part-time in an Emergency Department in Richmond, there was a young clerk who knew every rap song out there. However, when I sang, "Happy Talk" (even with choreography), she had...
Believe it: All pain 'down there' isn't a UTI Published on Jan 19th, 2006 0 comments I'm gullible. I tend to believe people are honest, but as a result I tend to fall for stupid things. For example, I once believed a person who said "gullible" isn't in the dictionary. I saw a...
No snickers: Arsenic natural, but deadly Published on Jan 12th, 2006 0 comments When I wear a polka-dot tie, I think of one person: Cary Grant. Cary talked kind of– well, peculiar– but he was a star. Even The Flintstones had Cary Granite as a guest. Remember...
Sticking point: Insurance backs off vaccinations Published on Jan 5th, 2006 0 comments Even though customer service is such a difficult job, every business seems to be raising the bar to keep their customers happy and allow their business to thrive. "This is Amy, your personal banking...
Not forgot: Toast to health in '06 Published on Dec 22nd, 2005 0 comments Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And days of auld lang syne? This song makes no sense, but I sing it every year at the...
Feeling sad? Maybe you have SAD Published on Dec 15th, 2005 0 comments Katie Couric used to be called "perky." When I think of perky, I think of my mother's old coffee percolator with Chock Full O'Nuts. Most patients and people I know say to me, "Where do you get your...
Fruitcakes: You who think diet pills work Published on Dec 8th, 2005 0 comments I love fruitcake. Does that make me odd? Hey, anything soaked in rum long enough tastes like– well, rum! Yum, yum! I'm starting to tell all my patients, "If I see you before the holidays, make...
PAD-ed arteries: Leg pain comes from clogs Published on Dec 1st, 2005 0 comments There are too many homonyms and acronyms that all sound the same but have different meanings. How in the world can we keep up with all the different meanings for the same-sounding words? For example...
Let it bleed: Seeing red over blood woes Published on Nov 24th, 2005 0 comments Some people faint at the sight of blood, which I don't quite understand because we all bleed– some more than others (especially drama queens). Remember the Saturday Night Live skit* on Julia...