Published March 11, 2004, in issue #0310 of The Hook

Best Super Tuesday for John Kerry: The Massachusetts senator sews up the Democratic nomination for president.

Worst week for Martha Stewart: The domestic diva is convicted March 5 of lying to the Securities and Exchange Commission, leaving the fate of the company based on her image up in the air, as advertisers flee her magazine and 18 CBS stations drop the felon's TV show.

Worst shake-up at the Mouse: Michael Eisner, Disney chairman and CEO for 20 years, loses his chairman title March 3 in a stockholder coup led by Walt's nephew, Roy Disney.

Worst ferry ride: Three people (including a six-year-old Harrisonburg boy) are missing, and one dies when a Baltimore Harbor water taxi carrying 25 people capsizes during sudden strong winds March 6.

Worst day in court: Former Louisa police chief John Wilson is convicted of assault and battery March 2 for slapping an officer in the groin, and is sentenced to six months in jail with four suspended, Braxton Williams reports in the Daily Progress.

Saddest death on UVA grounds: An apparent suicide takes place in a Jaguar parked between Fitzhugh and Dunnington dorms March 3. The victim is not believed to be affiliated with UVA, the Cavalier Daily reports.

Best sign it's spring break: A bomb threat is called in to New and Old Cabell and Wilson Hall March 3.

Most determined to see the western 29 bypass built: Lynchburg legislators revive part of a bypass bill March 4, the day after the House of Delegates shoots down a bill that would build a bypass as soon as practicable, reports Bob Gibson in the Progress.

Most interesting bypass data: 57 percent of the 400 registered local voters surveyed favor the bypass while 31 percent oppose it, according to a WINA survey.

Best vote for innocents: The House of Delegates rescinds Virginia's "21-day rule" that gives defendants only three weeks after a verdict to enter new evidence of innocence.

Description least likely to inspire confidence in the House of Delegates: "Bizarro World," Delegate Mitch Van Yahres' term for the legislative body that refuses to negotiate with the Senate in crafting a budget for the state.

Best way to get a dirt road paved: Pay for it yourself. Former Suncom exec Thomas Sullivan gets Board of Supervisors approval March 3 to pave a 3.7-mile section of Blenheim Road, despite the neighborhood's preference for dust, David Dadurka reports in the Progress.

Best letter-writing campaign: Students belonging to Virginia21 flood the Statehouse with 4,569 letters supporting $200 million more in state appropriations for higher education and $15 million for financial aid, according to the Cav Daily.

Worst loser in the spring UVA elections: Students fail to pass the "Greg is delightful" referendum, the only one of five not approved in last week's elections.

Biggest winner: 73 percent of UVA students approve the domestic partner benefits referendum.

Best week for art history: UVA receives a $2.8 million donation from Carl and Martha Lindner for its art history programs.

Worst rolling over: Police seize heroin, cocaine, and marijuana worth around $3,200 from a Page Street residence March 3. After interviewing the three men and two women arrested, police nab an additional 98 grams of cocaine valued at $20,000 from an abandoned building on 10th Street, Reed Williams reports in the Progress.

Best week for ecstasy: The Drug Enforcement Administration agrees to let a South Carolina physician treat 12 trauma victims with the love drug, according to the Washington Post.

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