Published July 8, 2004, in issue 0327 of The Hook

After reading Scott Johnsen's letter regarding Shirley Presley's selfish hoarding of her private property {July 1: "Presley's greedy"], I just have a few questions.

Mr. Johnsen, can I borrow your car? I have a few errands I need to run. And when I come to pick it up, do you mind if I grab a bite to eat? Don't worry if you're not home. I'll just let myself in and help myself to whatever's in the fridge. Just make sure you leave a key, okay? I'd hate to have to break a window to get in.

Also, I'm a bit of a messy eater, but I'm sure you won't mind picking up after me, will you? Oh yeah, could you leave $20 or so on the kitchen table? I'm a little strapped for cash right now.

Don't worry. I'm not a bogeyman who's going to steal all your stuff. And, if I trip and fall on a loose board in your house or get in an accident because of a problem with your car, I promise I won't sue you. For much.

You sound like a pretty generous guy. I'm sure you're just as willing to share your private property with total strangers as you feel Shirley Presley should be, right?

Does this sound absurd to you? Then maybe you should go back and read your letter again.

D. Kyle Hall
Palmyra

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