Published April 7, 2005, in issue 0414 of The Hook

Most mourning: Pope John Paul II dies April 2 and thousands, including President George W. Bush, head to Rome for the Holy Father's funeral April 8.

Worst timing: The nuptials of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles-- postponed from April 8 due to the Pope's funeral.

Latest contender for the 57th District: Greenish and grayish (he just retired) UVA prof Rich Collins throws his cap April 4 into the June 14 Democratic primary to face David Toscano for the nomination for Mitch Van Yahres' General Assembly seat.

Best news for alcoholics: UVA's new Center for Addiction Research & Education offers free treatment, psychotherapy, $20 a week, and transportation for participants in a three-month study, Claudia Pinto reports in the Daily Progress.

Biggest alleged embezzlement: Two former employees of an Exxon in Gordonsville are indicted March 28 on charges of embezzling $14,000 in lottery tickets, according to Kate Andrews in the Progress.

Latest development in the alleged arsonist-ex case: Benjamin Lopez Rivera is sentenced March 29 to 10 years in prison for breaking and entering into his former girlfriend's apartment the night it caught fire in March 2003 and for failing to register as a sex offender, reports Liesel Nowak in the DP. Rivera fled to Florida, told a reporter he was looking for the arsonist, and was arrested at a Sunshine State laundromat.

Worst news for George Bates: The imprisoned lawyer is disbarred for his April 2002 felony conviction for hitting his brother on the head with a bat, according to another Nowak report. Bates, a UVA law school graduate, ran for the Albemarle Board of Supervisors in 1987. The state bar had suspended his license once before, and he'd received four reprimands.

Worst fire: An April 2 blaze kills a dog in the garage, but an 80-year-old man in the house at 8409 Dick Woods Road escapes injury.

Fishiest development: Country of Origin Labeling-- COOL-- goes into effect April 4. The origin of fish and shellfish sold in supermarkets must be specified as well as whether it's wild or farm-raised.

Hungriest thieves: Wayside Takeout discovers 20 pounds of hamburgers, 15 pounds of cheese, a case of fish, a case of foot-long hot dogs, and two Bundt cakes missing April 4, according to the DP.

Best end to March Madness: UNC defeats Illinois 75-70 to take the NCAA championship April 4.

Best news for Motor City fliers: Northwest Airlines begins twice-daily nonstop flights from Charlottesville to Detroit April 4 and plans to add a third in August.

Coziest convergence: The Media General-owned News-Virginian in Waynesboro will team up with NBC29's Augusta County bureau under the same roof starting in August for a "collaborative partnership," according to the News-Virginian.

Best excerpt: A paragraph of Ann Beattie's short story, "Find and Replace," in "A Close Read: What makes good writing good" in this month's Atlantic Monthly.

Best get for the Virginia Film Festival: The Wilson brothers-- Luke, Owen and Andrew-- are supposed to show up April 2 for a regional premiere of their new movie, The Wendell Baker Story-- but only Luke actually makes it.

Best celebrity sighting: Academy Award-winning Hilary Swank and husband Chad Lowe are spotted loading up on baked goods April 2 at Starbucks on U.S. 29 north, according to a Hook source.

Oldest evictee: Thomas Jefferson. Parents, students, and faculty at the Berkeley, California elementary school named for the third president will vote later this month whether to ditch the slave-holder's name.

Youngest evictee: Larry Sabato-- from a publication that covers Congress, because of his profligate quote-giving, an anonymous editor tells the American Journalism Review.

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