did she really cite an article that is over 25 years old?

Yes, she really did. Most likely because actually taking the time to read more than what she wants to read might not support her opinion. Just look up "sympto-thermal method" on Wikipedia. The failure rates are pretty scary - unless you plan on just skipping sex completely or don't mind ending up with eight children.

I am also confused about how your method of birth control contributes to whether you get a divorce or not.

I may be grossly stereotyping here, but people who use these methods instead of birth control pills tend to be very conservative Christians. Very conservative Christians often don't believe in divorce. I'm guessing that's the link between this birth control method and low divorce rates. Doesn't necessarily mean that these couples are happy with their marriage.

Probably after awhile the pregnancies would slow down because you'd already have so many kids that you didn't have the time or the privacy to get busy.

Actually, the divorce rates are for all couples who use NFP--of all and of no faiths.

Also, any search of the internet will show you that a major study just came out showing the sympto-thermal method as effective as the Pill--99%. You can find just one of the dozens of article reporting on the German study here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6375261.stm

Contraception has a direct connection to the quality of marriage. Women want men to appreciate them as unique, complex creatures with bodies and souls, but then we so often are willing to eradicate or suppress our fertility--the part of us that makes us so uniquely feminine. As a former pill and depo user myself, I know that this often leads to women feeling used and withdrawing emotionally, which then leads men to the humilitating practice of having to beg for sex. Never mind the well-documented studies that have shown (including one last year) that hormonal contraception's suppression/eradication of women's libido may be permanent, even after she stops the drugs.

There's a lot more that could be said about this, but suffice to say "family planning" goes to the heart of the marital relationship, and I'm not surprised that there is such a high divorce rate in our culture but not among those who use natural family planning. After all, a man who says he's willing to abstain a week each month so his wife's body can work the way nature intended sends a radically different message than a man who asks his wife to take powerful, dangerous chemicals that suppress her fertility...usually for his convenience.

It's sad how close minded you guys are being. And also how unaware you are of a very recent study that was just published about a month ago on the topic.

You can read a news release on the study here:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070221065200.htm

Basically, NFP IS 99% effective if used correctly, but then again Birth Control Pills have the same claim. As for Pregnancy rates, while NFP saw only 1 unintended pregnancy out of 100 women over a year, the hormonal methods saw between 2 and 3 (which is actually normal, and considered by the drug companies to be an "ok" failure rate).

Also, the only costs associated with NFP come from actually starting the system. You buy a book, some charts, and you take a class. All that costs normally less than $100. On the other hand, taking the birth control pill, with you health insurance paying all but a $15 deductible (which is average, the actual price is $40-$50 without insurance). Therefore, in the first year alone that you are using NFP you save yourself approximately $80, and over 5 years you will save your self $800.

As has been reported by divorce courts and psychologists alike, the main source of tension within a marriage is finances. Maybe that's part of the reason why NFP is so good at keeping couples together! However, i still assert that it doesn't matter what the divorce rate is. The simple truth is NFP is more effective than any other method, it doesn't put any unnatural chemicals in your body, and it's a heck of a lot cheaper.

Did you know that 95% of people who have committed murder consumed bread within 72 hours of the killing? Or that 96% of the time, the candidate who wins an election in Virginia is the candidate who consumes more green beans annually? And did you know that less than five percent of married couples who don't have sex when the wife really wants to ended up divorced 25 years ago?

Facts are fun!

Waldo,

As a statistician, I hate it when people put down statistics. It is true that if you have bad intentions you can make statistics mean whatever you want, and you can find correlations for pretty much everything, as you pointed out. But the studies i suggested are true, legitimate studies which went through years of throwing out variables which could have effected the results in search of the truth.

Give truth a chance. It'll surprise you how much you learn.

Oh, yes, of course...God didn't intend for sex to be fun at all, it's just so that women can be baby machines.

John, I don't know if you're married or not, but what would be your response if your wife told you, at the age of 35, "Well honey, I only wanted to have two kids and we've got two, so no more sex until menopause"? Not everyone wants or can afford 10 kids.

To set the record straight, I used NFP during my first marriage and now during my second. Yes, I'm divorced and not an Evangelical Christian. I can't take the pill because it gives me migraines, no matter what the dosage is, so I've been clocking my schedule since I was 21 and my menses were finally regular. I'm 42 with three live births and numerous miscarriages in my past. But we still follow my schedule religiously since I won't hit menopause until my mid-50's, if I follow my maternal side of the family.

NFPers aren't all crazy, or even Christian. I think that kind of stereotyping is very bad for women. I'm a blended Catholic and Jew. Spiritual but not religious.

John, who gives a cr*p that you have no respect for or interest in women who want to have sex but not get pregnant? Answer: very, very few people. Many people have no respect for or interest in you. I'm sure that doesn't bother you, and likewise your lack of respect for me doesn't bother me.

RE: NFP...it seems to me that the objections to NFP are based not so much on method itself but on the way that some social conservatives use NFP as part of their mission of telling other people how to live their lives. It's gotten a bad rap, in other words, from its association with right-wing moralists. Many times when the subject of NFP comes up, it's in the context of a screed about how barrier methods of birth control are immoral (ask the Catholics about that one), abortion at any stage of a pregnancy is immoral, sex outside of marriage is immoral, sex inside of marriage but without "an openness to life" is immoral, etc etc etc. So NFP appears to some listeners as simply this lame thing offered by the religious right to those who say "but I don't WANT to have ten babies."

sure, Sex is fun. It's meant to be fun.

But we don't have to do everything that's fun just because our whims desire it, do we?

As human beings, we participate in abstinence all the time. I abstain from foods high in fat because the consequence could mean an expanded waist line. Others abstain from going clubbing because late nights reek havoc on their work schedule. Lots of people abstain from alcohol for various reasons, even though drinking is an activity that can be quite fun.

If you don't want the effect, don't participate in the cause. It's a simple principal that all people seem to understand in every situation except those involving sex where, according to them, it is IMPOSSIBLE to abstain.

Other's have proven them wrong. It's never impossible to conquer your desires for your own greater good.

Of course it's possible to abstain. I'm not sure who really argues that it is impossible (straw-man alert!). Many people argue, however, that it's unrealistic to expect large numbers of people to abstain. It's not a practical solution to the problem of unwanted pregnancy.

You can have the fun of sex without the consequence of pregnancy if you use birth control. Yadda yadda yadda no method is 100% foolproof--duh. Some methods are awfully good, though, and close enough for me (a married person who does not want to have any more kids). So I think you're being unduly alarmist in stating that abstinence is the only way to avoid pregnancy. I've been sexually active for 20+ years; except for the three times I was trying to become pregnanty, I successfully avoided pregnancy every time.

Let me put in a plug for sterilization after you have had your ideal number of children. No more hormonal crap, no more constantly monitoring yourself, no more spermicide allergies or broken condems- a truly wonderful way for a woman to live her remaining fertile years (especially if you are in a longterm marriage).

Mother of 3:

When you say:

"No more hormonal crap, no more constantly monitoring yourself, no more spermicide allergies or broken condems- a truly wonderful way for a woman to live her remaining fertile years"

Why couldn't you have done the same thing with NFP?

Also:

"(especially if you are in a longterm marriage)"

Is there ever a marriage that could be considered "short term"? I think most people who get married INTEND for it to be long term, and unfortunately a lot of them fail for some reason.

Sidonie: If all that was required was abstaining for 5 days a month, don't you think that the world could do that? The average married couple only has sex 4 times a month as it is! I think going for 5 days or a week without it would probably not be that hard.

And yes there are effective ways to avoid pregnancy. And according to the most recent studies, NFP is the MOST effective.

Plus, like Mother of 3 put it, you don't have to deal with that Hormonal Crap