Morgan’s parents: don’t blame her friends
published 10:32am Tuesday Oct 27, 2009
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Unlike the rest of “the nine,” Morgan opted for a red dress on prom night. (Others: Amy Melvin, Maggie Herrick, and Jenna Testerman.)PHOTO COURTESY HARRINGTON FAMILY
The parents of missing Virginia Tech student Morgan Harrington urge would-be sleuths not to blame the 20-year old woman’s friends for failing to report her disappearance during an October 17 heavy metal concert in Charlottesville.
“They’re not to blame,” says father Dan Harrington. “Everyone wants to make them out to be the bad guy, but they’re not the bad guy.”
The woman’s disappearance didn’t get reported to authorities until the next day when her father called police after she failed to show for a pre-arranged visit home to study math and balance her checkbook.
But should the friends at the concert have reported her missing?
“I wish they had,” says her dad, “but I don’t know that it would have changed anything. She’s not a 7-year-old. They wouldn’t have put out an Amber Alert.”
“This is not about let’s find who’s to blame,” says Morgan’s mother, Gil. “Let’s find her.”
Police say that the young woman left the Metallica concert some time around 8:30pm, a time before the main act took the stage. She reportedly telephoned one of her friends inside the concert to advise the friend— part of a group of longtime pals affectionately know as “the nine”— that she’d find a way home.
“This was a core group of girls who did stuff,” says Gil. “Not like the snotty cute girls.”
Though they are not unattractive.
Together, the nine put together a vigil that drew hundreds of friends and well-wishers who gathered at Northside High School on Thursday, October 22.
“We met with them on Thursday and cried,” says Dan.
“They were eloquent, articulate, and they were undefended enough to give real feelings of themselves and for Morgan,” says Gil. “They were just amazing.”
As to why the nine in general and the two friends who, along with a boyfriend, accompanied Morgan to the concert, have not been giving press interviews, Morgan’s mother sees innocent reasons.
“They’re trying to go to class,” says Morgan’s mother. “They’re trying to deal with the fact that their friend is lost.”
The parents made their comments Saturday, October 24 in an in-home interview after going on national television to plea for any abductor to return their daughter.
“We’re like anybody’s mom and dad,” says Gil. “Morgan could be anybody’s child.”
Meanwhile, they wrestle with the horrific thought that their daughter might have been lured outside the safe confines of the John Paul Jones Arena— a $131 million structure equipped with concessions, 18 women’s restrooms, and even a smoking area overlooking Emmet Street— to meet outside with a stranger.
“Has our fault been that we created a beautiful, shining— but guileless— girl?” asks Gil. “Should we have installed fear?”
–last updated 12:16pm with additional Arena detail
What did Morgan say to the friends? Why are the police with holding that info? It would be helpful to the public.
The public doesn’t really need to know, except to satisfy its own curiosity and develop opinions based on their own amateur sleuthing & intuition. I’m sure there’s plenty the authorities are not saying, and that’s o.k. for now, but this terrible situation demonstrates some lessons others might benefit by learning, and we will need the facts to be known someday soon so any changes that may need to be made to security at JPJ, for example, are implemented in time to prevent this from happening again.
Friends, especially young girls, should stick together - “I’ll find my way back home”? Unbelievable! It’s incredible if none of her friends thought to call her after the show and check in - very self-centered and not wise, imo. Even if they weren’t all so far from home.
I wonder if it’s possible for someone to leave the arena through an unmanned door and then be out in the cold with no way back in? I wonder if there are problems in the parking lots with break-ins and muggings?
I hope she’s o.k. I haven’t given up hoping.
“Though they are not unattractive.”
What relevance does this have? Pathetic, Hawes Spencer. Truly.
Pathetic is right, Beanie. The ongoing Hook stories about this incident appear to be written by high school journalism students. Very unprofessional. I didn’t realize what a bad writer Spencer is. The quotes from the mother make her sound like an idiot…I’m sure she is not. I feel so badly for the parents. Just heartwrenching. I hope the girl is found safe.
Wow, ease up Beanie and Jim. Use some imagination / try to see some angles before condemning a writer.
I liked the comment. For me, it hints at a key and potentially important perception discrepancy on the part of the parents. If anyone is remotely interested in figuring this out, misplaced character condemnations and contradictions from the parents seem important to point out, as they give reasons for the girl to potentially want to run away, hide out, associate with sketchy characters, etc.
Another example: “Has our fault been that we created a beautiful, shining— but guileless— girl?” She’s sneaking out, early, from a heavy metal concert. To do God knows what. It makes me think, “these people do not know their daughter at all.”
“Though they were not unattractive” means this was an attractive girl suitable for the eye and rape dummies. Use your heads. Attractive girls stand a greater risk of having something bad like that happening to them and that was the point of his line I think. He’s saying though she was not the snotty cheerleader type, she still would have caught the eye of a bad man.
What I don’t get is why does a 17 year old have a “pre-arranged” visit home? She did not live at home at 17? Why? And where was she living then? That might answer some questions.
“The parents of missing Virginia Tech student Morgan Harrington urge would-be sleuths not to blame the 20-year old woman’s friends for…”
She’s a 20 year old college student. Not 17.
quote: “The public doesn’t really need to know, except to satisfy its own (morbid) curiosity and develop opinions based on their own amateur sleuthing & intuition.”
Correct.
And I added a word to what you said.
My fault for missing that. I think I read on another site that she was only 17. It’s funny the friends did not inquire as to just how she was getting home, but we were all pretty free-wheeling at that age. Do they have public transportation, a cab? If you had no car and left the arena on foot, what would be the best way out of there?
Old Head, I mentioned in one of these Morgan discussions that my daughter is 17 years old. Maybe this is what you recall?
God be with Morgan, wherever she is!
And Morgan, if there’s the slightest chance you might be reading any of these discussion threads, you need to pick up the phone and CALL YOUR PARENTS! You can’t begin to imagine the pain and agony they are going through right now!
does anyone know if they allow RV’s to park in the RV lot during concerts? i never paid attention before. i know for game days it is used.
@old head
“suitable for the eye and rape” ???
You sound like a creep. All young girls are vulnerable to predators, whether they fit conventional standards of attractiveness, or, as old farts like you put it, “suitability for the eye and rape.” The reference to attractiveness was completely irrelevant to the story.
No, I’m, not a creep–just a realist. And if am old–you are really Steve Mcqueen. Your reference to my age is irrelevent–see how that works? Someone asked why he used that line and I explained it and was brash on purpose. The line in the article is relevent because it says “she was not part of the snotty cute girl crowd.” When one hears that we immediatly then think homley, or brainy, or whatever. “but they were not unnattractive” just lends to the story of what type of girl she was–just lke telling us that the stadium had 18 bathrooms was relevent to the paragraph about how fancy the place was. Anyway–why are we arguing about the dumb line anyway. Steve is right–bad things can happen to any girl. Sorry if I came off as not seeing things that way. Theyu have footage of people leaving the show after Metallica–I hope they could pull tapes from between shows.
The writer is offering us, by telling us that they were not “unattractive”, an important glimpse of something that sadly is pertinent– a hottie would more likely catch the attention of a perpetrator. Who wants to kidnap a fat ugly girl? That’s less likely, you numbskulls! Just a fact of human nature. So worth mentioning as unfortunate as it is.
Her mother’s comments don’t make her sound like an idiot at all:
1. “This is not about let’s find who’s to blame,” says Morgan’s mother, Gil. “Let’s find her.”
comment: That’s kind-hearted, solution-oriented. Don’t see anything idiotic here.
2. “This was a core group of girls who did stuff,” says Gil. “Not like the snotty cute girls.”
comment: The mother is saying these girls have it going on. They are doers, they don’t sit around and be jerks. They are good kids. Don’t see anything idiotic here.
3. “They were eloquent, articulate, and they were undefended enough to give real feelings of themselves and for Morgan,” says Gil. “They were just amazing.”
comment: Uhhhhh… this is nice… it’s a compliment to people. She is proud of them. Don’t see anything idiotic here.
4. “They’re trying to go to class,” says Morgan’s mother. “They’re trying to deal with the fact that their friend is lost.”
comment: a factual explanation. Don’t see anything idiotic here.
5. “We’re like anybody’s mom and dad,” says Gil. “Morgan could be anybody’s child.”
comment: What can you refute about this? Don’t see anything idiotic here.
6. “Has our fault been that we created a beautiful, shining— but guileless— girl?” asks Gil. “Should we have installed fear?
comment: This is normal, it is human, it is not idiotic to wonder, what could they have done differently?
I came away from this article thinking that these are normal nice people and it could happen to any of us. Beanie, you and Jim R. look for the negative. Sad way to live.
the friend are key to this. i would love to hear that the police have cell records from all the friends that show their calls to her number starting at end of show, through the night and into the next day. if they have been friends since grade school, you dont simply leave her there and leave, you would have made tons of calls back to her to confirm she got home, to discuss the concert or tell me about your night. if there are no calls from those girls, that is a serious issue. they only way they leave her there is if THEY knew exactly who she was with and were ok with it. even guys would not let a buddy claim I’ll find my way home which is 2 hour away. girls certainly wouldnt do that.
Everyone is trying to build a profile of a potential kidnapper. What if it is much simpler? Other students have gone missing like this this. Remember Brian Shaffer. What is it about this list that contradicts the kidnapper theory? Start with Shaffer and then add Maura Murray, Michael Negrete, Josh Guimond, and Justin Gains. These are students that disappeared like Morgan did.
All their stories are different. But there is a trail of them going back fifty years. They are athletic males. There is even a smiley face serial killer theory to explain their disappearances and deaths.
The simple answer lies in the very few students who have recovered after a disappearance and returned or been found in altered mental states.
A list of them can be found at VisionAndPsychosis.Net, a psychology project on the Internet. The Mysterious Disappearances, Dissociative Fugue, and Missing Students pages have other stories from news reports.
Forty years ago engineers and designers accidentally found a problem with human physiology capable of causing a mental break for knowledge workers. The cubicle was designed to deal with it. Schools do not offer Cubicle Level Protection or warn students.
Virginia Tech was informed after the Cho shooting. I have a confirmation letter. But nothing was done.
Students are likely victims because they have the same behaviors as those 1860’s office workers. If they create the same circumstances for long enough they will have the same mental break.
I found a way to investigate it after my wife had a psychotic break in the payroll office of the University of Alabama in 2002.
The stunner is that although it is explained in first semester psychology and well known in design it is unknown by anyone in mental health services.
http:/VisionAndPsychosis.Net
Angie, your post makes me cringe. “Who wants to kidnap a fat ugly girl?” Jeez, what kind of person says something like that?
I imagine her friends are feeling guilty right now and asking a lot of “what if” questions. My heart goes out to them. Give them a break and quit casting stones.
I guess the only thing(s) I really wondered about the friends was what girl actually ever goes to the restroom alone and at an event like that she really shouldn’t! Also, why wouldn’t any one of her friends or the boyfriend of her friend have tried to get her back in or one of them (or maybe two of them) left with her when she was not allowed to return. I have a young daughter and I know one thing is for sure - I have “tried” to instill in her that there is safety in numbers especially at large events. I also agree with what the person had to say previously about the phone contact and why the friends would not have thought it was odd that they could not have gotten in touch with Morgan and just doublechecked to make sure she got home. I am not trying to place blame but just using common sense.
To anyone that could possibly blame any of her friends clearly has never been to a concert….it’s very easy to get separated from the people you’re with. What were they supposed to do? Search high and low through thousands of Metallica fans to try and find her? Please…..
Let’s keep hope that she will be found, safe and sound….who knows…maybe she decided to go on Metallica Tour….
My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family….
“As to why the nine in general and the two friends who, along with a boyfriend, accompanied Morgan to the concert, have not been giving press interviews, Morgan’s mother sees innocent reasons.
“They’re trying to go to class,” says Morgan’s mother. “They’re trying to deal with the fact that their friend is lost.”
~I just think it’s weird that these “friends” have not come out publicly. I don’t buy “they’re trying to go to class” statement. I’m sorry but if my FRIEND was missing I would be all over the media talking about her looking for her….not worrying about “class”. These girls know something and they are the clue.
the friends certainly could not search a whole arena, but did they go to the door and try to get her back in? did they tell her to go hang on the corner at starbucks and they would meet her in 2 hours? did they call her during show to check up on her? did they call her after show to find her?
perhaps they did all that and we are not being told. i have no idea, but you would think by now that if they had done all of that, we would know.
best friends for life, plan a concert for 6 months, drive all over virginia to get there, and then walk in the bldg and everyone says; “see you back home tomorrow”? no way that makes sense.
did she meet a guy from JMU and they figured she was going back with him? you would assume they figured she would be heading back to JMU to meet them and get the car, not go all the way to VT and wait for her car. i would check out the JMU friend real hard and who else from JMU went to this show.
I understand it is easy to get separated at a concert but the way it has been described over and over again & again is that Morgan went to the restroom alone and I guess I was just wondering why one of her friends did not go with her, i.e. safety in numbers again (I am sure they could have found the restroom together and not been separated). And, yes, if I lost a friend somewhere I would search high & low for her (plus they did have cell phone contact until a certain time). Also, that still does not answer why at least one or two of her friends could not have left with her once she was not allowed to return to the concert - I know I would never have just left a friend stranded. I also understand people are going to be divided on their opinions regarding this whole situation.
@ Trish
Go to the restroom together? They’re not in a park in the middle of the night!!! They’re at a concert…with thousands of people around. Who said she wasn’t allowed to return to the concert? Who said she didn’t say, “I’m ok…I saw who I wanted to see..don’t really care to see Metallica…It’s too loud….I met up with another friend” It seems to me she voluntarily left the show….no reason to go back and forth on this….all that matters in the end is that Morgan is found…
-I do not believe for a second that she got outside the arena accidentally–she went out willingly. I don’t know why–but my best guessing would be that she was going to meet someone she knew(less likely–she would tell her friends that) or met someone who had something she wanted–my only wild guess is someone who claimed they could get her back in to the arena to see the band she had been looking forward to for six months–possibly with a story that he(most likely) could get her backstage. That would explain why she left and why she wouldn’t necessarily tell her friends.
-Her friends(and the police) clearly know more than they are telling us–that may be one reason they aren’t on the media–they have been told by the police to keep the information about her time oustide the arena but in contact to themselves to aid the investigation.
-Nine girls as close as this would let a friend just go out and find a ride back, without checking up on her? Preposterous! They either knew what she was up to(and we don’t) and believed she was safe–likely based on information they received from her after she left the arena–or they REALLY dropped the ball and abandoned their friend–which I find unlikely. One thing I know as a parent–kids that age stay in touch constantly–her friends would have noticed and reacted if she had lost touch unexpectedly. Now if they all expected her to be out of touch because she had let them know something we don’t–that might be an explanation.
All of this is theorizing and speculating. The biggest key for me is why did she leave the arena in the first place? Answer that question, you have big clue as to your perp.
Hey “I’m fat and ugly so I guess I am safe”,
Clearly you have not taken psychology or sociology 101. That’s ok. I’ll give you a break.
@ People are Crazy
Yes, believe it or not - go to the restroom together especially in this day and age even at a concert!!! Maybe especially at a concert because of all the unknowns that could be out there. Read Shempdaddy’s post - he’s right on the mark with his remarks…. And, as I said previously, we are all going to have different opinions regarding this whole sad situation. The most important thing is to keep praying that Morgan comes home safely to her family sooner rather than later. Pointing fingers at anyone now is futile. My remarks were only reference for the future and basically what I tell my daughter - I really am not bothered if you agree with me.
Angie: Your fat and ugly comment is really pretty silly. I am not a fat and ugly adult, I was never a real looker, but when I hit puberty, I got a bit plump, with a nice big bum that I have today. Guess what?
I had college guys pulling their cars over and making crude comments and trying to get me into their car. And this was a global problem too, because we had to travel a lot, so it seems universal. I grew out of the baby fat, and the bum remained, and I received the same amount of attention.
So, no, being ‘fat’ doesn’t change anything. Neither does age.
Angie was stateing a fat! Fat and Ugly doesnt mean anything bad. These coments blaming her friends or asking why her friends didnt do this or didnt do that…thats just as rude! Angie is simply stating that how many girls do you see being kidnapped that is heavy and not attractive, ya angie could of used better words. but i mean look other cases and find me one girl that is not attractive??
““This was a core group of girls who did stuff,” says Gil. “Not like the snotty cute girls.”
Though they are not unattractive.”
Was obviously an attempt to fit as much primary source information as possible in the article. There was (hopefully) no intention at all alluding to the chance of abduction or rape. Anything relating to the girls and their relationship was obviously shared here. Good try, but leaving out this and the end quote would have made the article seem much less congested.
I don’t question the girls story, I know these girls, and I believe they did what they thought was right. They stayed two hours after the show after she told them she was going to call friends in Charlottesville to come get her. People need not judge these girls, or say negative things because they are suffering greatly. They love Morgan a great deal, as do other friends and her family. We have hopes that she will come home soon. We are keeping love,hope and faith alive for her! 2-4-1 Morgan.
ive never read before that the girls waited 2 hours after the concert? where? how? what did they do while waiting and how did they try to find her? thats never been mentioned by any LE personnel anywhere
Caesonia-
Ok… so you now have a fat bum and people like it. Sure, some people do enjoy more cushion in their ladies. J-Lo does just fine. However, if you check the stats of kidnappings, you will find that the majority are on the smaller-side. The perpetrator certainly doesn’t want to get hit upside the head by his victim. Not to mention it’s not as easy to get a lady with large buttocks in the car by force.
Even if the girls did say they stayed two hours after the concert, it doesn’t mean that they did stay. Why didn’t they contact her parents ASAP when they couldn’t find her? That one behavior alone tells me that they know something about her disappearance and they are dealing with alot of guilt. If you are with your best friends, they would never leave you out there unable to be found and not call the police or the parents. If they tried to call her cell phone and there was no contact, it’s common sense that something was wrong. And I wouldn’t make excuses for these girls about why they didn’t call. They know something about who she was meeting outside or else they set it up themselves to do away with her and that is why they never were worried enough about what happened to her because they already know what happened to her. Have they checked the video surveillance to see if any of them left the concert with her when she was outside? Did any of them enter the concert with their tickets? What about the one girlfriend’s boyfriend? Is it possible that he could have done harm to her? And the other two girls were threatened into silence from him? No one would go outside of a concert building after waiting 6 months to see a favorite group knowing that they were going to be onstage soon. These girls and the boyfriend are lying. There may be something that Morgan knew about the friends or the boyfriend and they retaliated. Is it also possible that the boyfriend went outside before 9:30pm to look for her and he wanted to rape her and when she retaliated he abducted and harmed her, then told the friends that he couldn’t find her outside. Why aren’t they checking the friend’s vehicle for forensic evidence? Why haven’t they checked railroad cars or the railroad track areas? Something is definitely not right about the friends behavior in all this. They hold the clues into what really happened that night. Where did the friends go after the concert? Is there any other eye witnesses as to where they went and what time they arrived home? If they were looking for her for 2 hours, why didn’t they notify at least a security guard? I think the boyfriend did something to her and the girlfriends know about it and for two hours after the concert ended, they were getting rid of her body. That is why they did not call anyone about what happened. They do not want to be implicated in anything, so they come up with this story to cover up what really happened. NO FRIEND would ever leave and not call the police or the parents or even not tell their own parents about what happened with their friend missing. They know something. After raising 3 children to adulthood and going through some scary times myself with them, I know that so called friends can be very two faced and put on the good act when they are covering up. All of them are covering up something. The police need to check phone/cell phone/computer records/all video surveillance/their residences/the car/and grill them to the core. I don’t care how close these friends were. Their behavior shows just the opposite.