In addition to being part of an intriguing bill at the Tea Bazaar this Saturday, entrepreneurial Philly band The Armchairs are running a nifty little racket whereby they’ll write a song about any topic of your choosing and play it at the show for $10, and send you an mp3 of the same for $20.

Being the high rollers we are, we asked for the latter. It took a flurry of emails and reportedly some impromptu living-room recording sessions facilitated by several kind hosts in Pennsylvania to bring you this, but here’s our ode to Charlottesville’s definitive pork treasure trove, the Marco & Luca dumpling shop. (Hey, high rollers can love cheap dumplings too.)

The Armchairs - Best Of Dumplings

This will probably remain at best an unofficial theme song, due in equal parts to the vague porn-funk flavors (barely resisting a pork joke here) and words which alternate between indecipherable and grammatically compromised (e.g. “Best Of Dumplings”), but all the same, consider this your new headphone soundtrack for those $3 lunch hours.

And now that we’ve done our part, please remember that you too can order a custom song of your own, so please don’t hesitate to take over Saturday’s set list and/or start your Christmas shopping early.