Colin Steers
PHOTO COURTESY OF BRAVOTV

It was over before it began. When Make Me a Supermodel contestant Kerryn got her walking papers last week, the writing was on the wall: nerd-a-licious local, Colin Steers, would be the next to go. Kerryn’s ouster meant innocent Colin’s lessons in Carnal Knowledge 101 would remain incomplete, and without the possibility of the Charlottesville virgin’s public deflowering on cable TV, the show’s producers could no longer justify keeping the modeling novice in the catwalking pack.

Furthering the dismal prognosis for Colin’s fate was his first camera confessional this week, in which he talked about how much he’d progressed and geekily made a graph with his arms, concluding, “I’m not going home this week— no, no.” Sigh. Reality TV Rule #6: Whichever contestant talks about “not going home” and wanting to stay to realize his or her “potential” WILL most definitely be on the bus.

This week’s photo shoot challenged the would-be models to pose with farm animals. Although our handsome geek thought he showed great range in pulling a bull through fake dust clouds, the photographer offered a different opinion: “He would make these faces like he was going to the bathroom or something.”

Colin’s devolution continued back at the models’ house when his fellow contestants concluded our boy was smelling up the room as they ate ice cream. That’s right— sweet Colin literally stunk. Colin also confessed to the camera that he’s really a pre-med student trying to mimic being a model.

At the catwalk challenge, host Tyson Beckford told the contestants they would embody tweedy landed gentry. Surely, our boy from Albemarle County could master this one! Familiar territory from a life in Virginia hunt country, right? Alas, no. Colin’s large brain proved to be his undoing, as they judges attributed his awkward performance in an over-sized duster to his over-analysis of the challenge. The fat lady’ singing was loud and clear when one judge declared in exasperation, “Models are not supposed to think! What is he doing?”

As expected, our favorite brainiac found himself once again in the bottom two. Tyson faced him soberly and declared, “Colin, you’re a neuroscientist who can’t believe he’s here to become a supermodel.” And then the boom came down on our boy. Tyson’s parting advice? “Colin, go home and get laid.”

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